So i'm sitting her with an hour and 39 minutes until my 21st birthday. And i'm thinking about how it will feel to order my first drink in public. I mean I admit that I've had my fair share of drinks before being legal but I've never gotten out of control. But being able to be open and public about having a drink with dinner just sounds wonderful to me. That's all I've ever wanted. I'm not the kind to go out and get drunk every night or every weekend. I like remembering my life, not wasting it by getting so drunk that I pass out or black out or get sick. I don't see the fun in drinking that heavily. But going out to a restaurant and ordering dinner and a drink to go with it so that I don't feel so left out when we go out to dinner with friends. Or just going out for a special occasion and have a glass of wine or something.
But that first drink. That first alcoholic order.... I'm not sure how I'm going to feel. At first I think i'll feel like i'm doing something wrong just because I've never been able to do it before. Then I think I'll feel some what of embarrassement because I'll be showing my ID for the first time to get the drink. I'm semi-afraid that wherever we go, they'll see its my birthday and sing to me. I really hate it when they do that. I feel embarrassed even when they do it for other people! I think the next thing I'll feel is excitement and pride that I've finally made it to this point.
i mean if you think about it the big celebrations and milestones are turning 1 year old, then 13 cuz you're officially a pre-teen, then 16 for a sweet sixteen and you're driving and everything, then 18 because you're close to graduating high school or already have and you're legal to vote and buy cigarettes and lottery tickets and then next is you're 21st bday when you can legally drink. Beyond this the milestones are just the 10's (30, 40, 50, etc). But nothing really specially and new happens on those birthdays. 21 is the last one in the new milestones.
It's sad really because I've been looking forward to this for a while, not because i'm that desperate to drink, but because it's my birthday. Now that it is so close, I'm nervous as to how it will feel when it's all over. Whether I'll actually feel older or not. I doubt it. I know I don't look 21; i may act it, but I know I don't look it. So other than going out to dinner and getting a glass of something, I don't foresee any real big changes in my life because of this 21st birthday. But did it change a lot for anyone really?
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