So since I last posted... things have gotten topsy turvy.
The night of my last post my mother called me and told me that my grandfather had a lump on his skull removed and the doctors believed it to be a cyst. But when in fact it was cancerous. But 3 doctors passed up treating him or removing it or became cautous about it when he went in for surgery a couple months ago to remove part of his lung of stage 3 cancer. I understand they were more focused on his lung cancer att he time but i personally do not believe that a doctore should be so tunnel visioned that he misses a visible lump on a patients skull. The good news is that they have removed the lump but there were branches of the cancer that had extended towards his skull. The doctors are unsure of whether or not the cancerous cell have reached the brain. At this point in time he has just finished his very first round of chemo and his white blood cell count is still very low and his body is unable to handle an MRI to check the rest of his body for other possible cancer spots so to speak. Until his white cell count rises he cannot have the MRI and everyone is unsure when that will be.
While i am frustrated at the doctors for missing something that is so obvious in my mind, i understand why they overlooked it. The hospital and insurances do not wish to pay for biopsies and such when they don't need to. But this to me is such a larger problem then just my grandfather and his cancerous lump that was not removed until late. This country has seen many stories like this. Insurance companies and hospitals and doctors have a hands-off and impersonal attitude when it comes to many of their patients. And they don't get personal or show any sign of human emotion until they're about to tell you that treatments aren't working and you have "x" amount of months to live. This is the reason I hate going to the doctors. Where are the family doctors who know you by name? Who know who your parents are and ask how they're doing and can actually recall what they do as a profession? Those are the kind of doctors I want my grandfather to see. The kind who will make his treatments personal and will actually know what my grandfather looks like. Notht he kind who only know his case number and insurance account. This is why our health care system is so out of whack. The doctors are impersonal because the insurance companies restrict what they will pay for and thus restricting the treatments the doctors will administer to their patients. And patients cannot get the treatments they need for correct, professional and somewhat personalized care because they are out of work due to their illness. And they cannot get health care at an affordable price because they are out of work so their income is lower thus reducing the amount of insurance they can afford which in turn lowers their options for doctors and treatments covered by said insurance. And if it medically neccessary for a patient to have a surgery or prdceedure done that insurance does not cover it, then they are paying out of pocket. This is why our countries citizens are so far in debt. Because no one goes on good faith and everyone is out to cover their own butts and only wants to get their cut of the check. No one just helps out anyone anymore without looking for something in return. It disgusts me the way everyone treats each other these days and how our system of health care and any policy for that matter benefits the 500 companies of this nation and not its people for which our government was built to protect.
alright... well i feel better now that i've gone on my politcal rampage. now onto more personal frustrations.
While it has been absolutely beautiful outside this week and I have been blessed to have had some time off, this week has brought me some doubts. I had tuesday off which is when I got the call from my mother about my grandfather. Wednesday I worked all day and Casey had duty so he was gone. Thursday (yesterday) i had the day off again. Casey got off of work early and helped Mike move the last of his stuff into a storage unit and smaller stuff into his room at our place. And last night we went to the Tides opening night which was a lot of fun. I enjoyed it. But yesterday I was informed by my husband about his upcoming schedule. For a couple days, starting today, the watchstanders will be on a 6 on 12 off schedule. This is awkward for me to get used to. I am so used to knowing his duty section and now it's all thrown into the wind. So while i am trying to understand it, I am also trying to grasp the concept that they'll be starting their fast cruise very shortly. They have been delayed so long that I have put off preparing myself for him being gone. Now I am having to get used to the idea in a very short amount of time. This are coming up on me so fast that i'm starting to feel overwhelmed. When i get overwhelmed I get cranky and become short with people who don't deserve to be snapped at. And if i bottled it all up I have a major meltdown at the most inopportune times. I'm just started to feel stressed out. I need to find somethign that relaxes me. Since mike has moved in, we have increased the video gaming exponentially! there are now 2 xbox's, a playstation 3 and a Wii. I'm kind of excited about the Wii because he does have Wii fit so I'm interested in trying it so i can get into shape. But also using it will allow me to try it before I actually buy myself one. Mike gets out of the Navy at the end of the year so he does not plan to stay with us long. But while he's here I will be able to have some company and i'll get to try out the Wii.
Well it's friday and it's been a long week. The kids go back to school next week so it'll be back to the normal schedule. But then in June this working everyday thing will be my normal. I don't know how i'm going to do it. Working 9 hours a day straight is tough. lol I don't know if I can ever work in the real world. I don't think I have the energy to do it! Well its off to "work". I might update later today. Not sure. either way, thank you readers (if there are even any of you)for letting me vent and rant and rave. until next time.
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