You know the saying...

.... don't go to bed mad?

well I did last night. Long story short.... hubby had the day off, got to sleep in, get a video game he wanted then came to work with me where he complained a majority of the time of a headache and exhaustion. HELLO!?!?! I got up that morning early and went to work all DAY, worked ALL DAY the day before, have a headache myself, been bleeding heavily out of my hoohah when I'm not supposed to be which I think is making me anemic causing me to be moody and even more tired than usual! Did I mention I'm a nanny? Staying home all day for two days in a row entertaining sick children can take it's toll on you. YOU had the DAY OFF!!!! YOU slept in! And now you're going to bed early and barely spoke a word to me once I got home. Seriously within 45 minutes of me being home from work (he left early because of his headache... and yes he did take medicine to help it) he went upstairs to bed! It was 7:30pm!!! I ate dinner, took care of the dogs, stayed up and watched Glee BY MYSELF!!!! I had had two very long days of work; I myself wasn't feeling great and you're complaining like a little child and not taking into consideration that I might want to spend some time with my husband! Alone! For some adult conversation!!!

I understand that maybe I should be giving him some slack for not feeling well, and been more supportive of him. But never did I ever express these angry feelings towards him last night. So I did give him slack. I never mentioned any of this to him and was actually in agreement that he go to bed early. But after he left last night... it all just started to fester inside me and made me angry as hell at him! Now maybe this is crazy hormones talking right now in anger, but in all honesty, I just wanted a little attention. It seems like everyone around me was sick and I was taking care of them with no one to take care of me! I put everyone else's needs before mine these last two days. I stayed all day monday and tuesday with sick children seeing to their every need for medicine, tissues, lunch and entertainment. Now I was having to do it with my husband. I know that maybe this wouldn't be such an issue with me if I had just come out and told him that I wasn't feeling well myself but after all his complaining, I thought "what's the use?". I thought that even if he knew about me not feeling well, he'd still be not feeling well and still need things himself.

When hubby left this morning for duty I did kiss him goodbye and told him I loved him, but I still wish he was the kind of guy that would pick up on the subtle hints that I really don't feel like being his mother and caring for his lazy butt after I'd cared for two 7 years olds who were sick for two days. It was just too much for me. And it's just too much for me to be bleeding like I am... I seriously think it's making me anemic. I've never been more tired in my life! I think this is a factor to take into consideration of why my fuse is so short on this topic.

I know some of you may say.... "wow... she's a bitch for not taking care of her husband." I want you to know that I will probably never tell him about how I was angry with him over this because I feel like it's trivial and it's just a waste of time to bring it up and agrue about it. So that's why I've posted my feelings here. To vent and get them out of my system so I can let it go and move on. In no way shape or form do I plan to hold a grudge against him for this. It's not his fault, he didn't really do anything wrong. How could he? He didn't know. The blame is all mine. So I won't be saying anything and I just needed to vent about this frustration. And some of the origin of this issue might have been some jealousy that I was working overtime while being tired and he had the day off. Also feeling like he might have been a little ungrateful for his day off. I would have been hella grateful for a day off after those two days of 10 hour days! (I love my job, don't get me wrong. But some days are just long and it takes a toll on you.)

So see. You can go to bed mad. I guess the only way it works is when only one of you knows that you're mad. 'Cause when you wake up, sometimes it's all gone and you can just move on without giving it another thought.