I admit it!

I'm sorry. I realize I have neglected my blog and keeping you few (lol) updated. So to get you up to speed, here's what's going on.

Casey got out of work early on Friday (very rare, but yeah!). So we ran some errands. We went to Jo Anne Fabrics and picked out some new fleece material for a new blanket for him. The we had a relaxing weekend where Casey had duty on Saturday and I watched The Holiday for the first time (awesome movie! I am in LOVE with it now!). Sunday we slept in, had Panera for a late lunch and decided we'd have our own Harry Potter marathon in honor of the new movie coming out last night. So we started watching the movies in order. Monday I had lunch with Megan at Olive Garden and I must say their Chicken and Gnocchi soup is REALLY good and you should try it. It's like an Italian style chicken and dumplings except more sophisticated. Again, you just need to try it for yourself. Then we went back to her house and watched Juno after I got the grand tour (since I'd never been there before). I am TOTALLY having her decorate our house! She is so good at it! Then Casey picked me up so she didn't have to drive me all the way back through the tunnel. On Tuesday Casey was supposed to have duty but he wasn't on the watch bill because he was taking a test. He still hasn't heard exactly how he did so pray it went well and he hears soon! Anyways! I actually got up early for once and ran some errands and then joined Megan at the pool with some lunch for the both of us. I didn't want to burn like I had before at the pool with her so I decided to duck out early. Plus I didn't want to get stuck in tunnel traffic forever. Then Casey came home cuz he wasn't on the watch bill and we continued our Harry Potter marathon.

OK! So this brings us to today! This morning I slept in only a little bit and go up about 8:30. Not bad. I sat around watching the NCIS marathon and the dogs slept/ played. Then I got a call from Megan saying that the pool where she's an attendant is in real need of another pool attendant. So she told her boss that I would be a good fit because my nanny job doesn't start until September 1 and the pool closes Labor day. Plus I'm not really working anywhere else, and this pool gig would be really easy. I pretty much would just have to test the water when I get there and call the head maintenance lady and let her know the levels were either good or bad. After that 5 minutes of work, basically, I'd get to lay by the pool and get a tan. I don't have to be lifeguard certified because I am not responsible for the lives at the pool I would be responsible for the pool itself. I think it's a pretty sweet job. So I hope I get it. If I do, it won't pay much, but it'll be something which I'm happy for.
In about an hour or so I'm scheduled to be at the Wright house to smooth out the details of my nanny job. I'm really excited because it will be a newborn; and if you know me, then you know that I LOVE newborns, infants, babies. Pretty much anything baby I love! But the baby isn't even born yet. She due to be induced at the beginning of August. I'm really looking forward to knowing more about the job, the house, the schedule, the hours, the pay, etc. Just more about the job in general. I also would like to learn how they plan on doing their taxes. Because if they file a certain form I believe I have to pay taxes quarterly instead of annually. I think I'm just going to have to go to like H&R Block and ask someone about it. But again I'll know more tonight. I've only met them once but Tara (the mother to be) seems so sweet and Archie (her hubby) is kinda quiet but there's nothing wrong with that. I must admit that I'm devilishly curious to know the story behind her life. She had her first child, a son, at age 21. He's 17 and she's now pregnant with her 2nd and she said her last. But I guess I'm just curious, if she was married before and is divorced or if her son was a product of just a relationship. It's so bad to want to know, but I am a nosey person. And I promise you that I won't be asking flat out the story. I don't plan on pushing to know the details or anything. But I will probably figure it out after a while of working with them. It's not like I'm judging them, I just like knowing people's stories. Our stories and past experiences shape so much of who we are today! It's actually quite fascinating to me.

So that is the official update.

blankets

So the hubby got out of work early today. So we ran a couple errands. I got him some new material for a blanket since the one I originally made him is being used for the dogs bed. That one was a Carolina Panthers themed one. This one will be an NC State themed one. I'm hoping to learn how to thread my shewing machine and be able to stitch it completely closed tomorrow. But thats only after I cross-stitch his name in it so no one can say that it's there's if they try to steal it on the ship. Its going to be the kind where it ties all around the sides. But it'll be stitched completely together so it doesn't get pulled apart or get dirty on the inside kinda thing. It'll be quite a task. But it shouldn't take too long. The longest will be the cross-stitch part because I'll have to free-hand it. That will take some planning. I'm hoping all will go well. If it does, maybe I can sell them and ask for people to buy their own material and then pay me like $10 or so for my hard work in making them. I like being crafting and being able to do odds and ends things.

Anyways, so after we did that we went to the bank and then went back home to just relax there. Which consisted of sitting in front of the TV and watching random crap on TV. I prolly gained 10 lbs just sitting there and not doing anything which is not what I need/ want. Tomorrow is Saturday and my plan is to continue laundry and try and figure out this blanket configuration and my sewing machine issues. wish me luck! 'Night!

So this morning my hubby darling was bitching about getting up and taking the dogs out and complaining that he had been up since 2am (it was then 4am) and wasn't getting enough sleep. I'm like oh baby... boo fucking hoo! >:0 I never fall asleep until 12, then I was up at 2am cuz for some reason I had to pee and the dogs were moving around in their crate and i've been tossing and turning since. So I had only slept for 2 straight hours so he shouldn't complain becuase he passed the fuck out at 10:00pm!
Also, he sets his alaram and hits the snooze button like 5 TIMES!!!!!! if you don't want to get up that early then DON'T SET THE ALARM THAT EARLY! I can understand hitting the snooze like once... but much past that, just set the damn thing to a later time since you obviously aren't really going to get up! So after he puts them out, brings them back up, gets ready for work and kisses me before leaving it's 4:30am. I finally get to fall back asleep until about 7am (so only another 2.5 hours of sleep) to take them out again and feed them. Then we come back to bed and I sleep til 10 most mornings cuz in total I've only gotten 4.5 hours of sleep! And most of it was interrupted which means not very good sleep! Thus I sleep til 10am because i'm so goddamn tired from being up most of the night!!!
So he just needs to shut his freakin' mouth and quit his bitching about not getting enough sleep when in reality it barely affects his sleeping habits! He needs to count his blessings! and if he doesn't, he'll get an earful from me!

ok i'm done now. thanks for letting me vent! I'll probably post later tonight with what I did today (if i even did anything ... lol)

just thinking.....

so first off i must apologize to my readers because i almost forgot/ forgo-ed the blog tonight.

So as you know yesterday was my birthday and I was offered a job. I was thinking about it today and realized it hasn't sunk in yet that I have a job. I think it's also because I haven't started working yet. I can't wait to start working. I think it will keep me busy and make me feel like I'm actually contributing to our household income. To know that I'm helping to pay bills will be really assuring for my self-esteem as well as empower me. When she called yesterday, she told me that she'll call me again on Monday and we'll talk about a time to get together next week to talk details. I'm so looking forward to it! I really want it to be next week already so I can know the details. But then also after that it'll be my friend's surgery so I want to be there for her. Then after that, we'll be on vacation for my cousin's wedding! These next couple of weeks are going to go by really fast! I HOPE! :)

two decades plus a year....

So today was my 21st Birthday, as you may (or may not) know. Casey had the day off which was AWESOME!!! Another thing that COMPLETELY made my day was that I got a call from someone I interviewed with and they offered me the job! I was ecstatic! Then Casey and I went shopping and he got some new clothes that I'm very proud of him for even trying on, and we went shopping some more for some random things we needed. Then he told me that he didn't get me anything for my birthday because money has been tight and didn't know if we'd have the money for what he wanted to get me. But he told me that when we have the money he's going to buy me a Wii for my birthday! I am so excited! I really want to get a Wii fit so I can work out and get in shape!!!! And now that I'll be working (even though it doesn't start until September) we'll be able to pay off some debts and then we'll be able to get some things that we've been wanting like the Wii. Plus I'll get to work with this great family with a wonderful newborn and have job security for a while because they intend on keeping me until this kid goes to school! This day has been one of the most wonderful days in my entire life! Thank you to all of you who wished me a happy birthday! Until tomorrow!

Birthday Day

So It's my 21st birthday and my husband had the day off (very rare) and I got offered a job! I am completely stoked and excited! This day is awesome so far and I haven't even had my first legal drink yet! I'll probably post later tonight on everything we did today!

21 and drinking....

So i'm sitting her with an hour and 39 minutes until my 21st birthday. And i'm thinking about how it will feel to order my first drink in public. I mean I admit that I've had my fair share of drinks before being legal but I've never gotten out of control. But being able to be open and public about having a drink with dinner just sounds wonderful to me. That's all I've ever wanted. I'm not the kind to go out and get drunk every night or every weekend. I like remembering my life, not wasting it by getting so drunk that I pass out or black out or get sick. I don't see the fun in drinking that heavily. But going out to a restaurant and ordering dinner and a drink to go with it so that I don't feel so left out when we go out to dinner with friends. Or just going out for a special occasion and have a glass of wine or something.

But that first drink. That first alcoholic order.... I'm not sure how I'm going to feel. At first I think i'll feel like i'm doing something wrong just because I've never been able to do it before. Then I think I'll feel some what of embarrassement because I'll be showing my ID for the first time to get the drink. I'm semi-afraid that wherever we go, they'll see its my birthday and sing to me. I really hate it when they do that. I feel embarrassed even when they do it for other people! I think the next thing I'll feel is excitement and pride that I've finally made it to this point.

i mean if you think about it the big celebrations and milestones are turning 1 year old, then 13 cuz you're officially a pre-teen, then 16 for a sweet sixteen and you're driving and everything, then 18 because you're close to graduating high school or already have and you're legal to vote and buy cigarettes and lottery tickets and then next is you're 21st bday when you can legally drink. Beyond this the milestones are just the 10's (30, 40, 50, etc). But nothing really specially and new happens on those birthdays. 21 is the last one in the new milestones.

It's sad really because I've been looking forward to this for a while, not because i'm that desperate to drink, but because it's my birthday. Now that it is so close, I'm nervous as to how it will feel when it's all over. Whether I'll actually feel older or not. I doubt it. I know I don't look 21; i may act it, but I know I don't look it. So other than going out to dinner and getting a glass of something, I don't foresee any real big changes in my life because of this 21st birthday. But did it change a lot for anyone really?

the first night....

So, my name is Kelly. I live in VA and am a military wife. I will turn 21 in like 24 hours and some change. I find myself very stressed out recently and needing to vent or just get my thoughts out. There are things in my life that I find myself wishing I could change. I know I'm not the only one. It's a catch 22. I can't get a job because I don't have a degree. I can't go get a degree because I don't have any money and would go bankrupt if I went and wasn't making any money at a job. But I can't get a job because I don't have my degree. And the circle keeps going around and around and around. After a while I feel like no one wants me. I know I'm a hard worker when I love my job. But most of the time when you don't have a degree, any job you have is merely to pay the bills which makes me bored and unmotivated to work. And being a military wife I like to only work certain hours so that I'm home when my husband is home. I don't know much very far in advanced and like to spend what time I can with him, so flexibility is key for me and most employers see that as restrictive and unreliable in an employee.

I know I'm not alone in this struggle and that there are so many people out there like me. But when you're in this situation you feel like you're the only one. Completely alone. It makes me just want to cry. Its a hole inside that you can't fill because until you get a job or something you don't feel useful or worthy of anything. It is a depressing situation and there's nothing you can do about it other than to keep filling out applications until someone hires you. But until then, you just wait. And waiting does things to you. You start thinking too deep into things. You really start to stress yourself out about all the little things that you would normally just shrug off.

So tonight, on my first blog entry, I am listening to depressing and slow ballads on my iTunes and typing away. Still wanting to cry, I think I'm going to turn in for the night. I'm not sure what else to write because this is my current dilemma. I am depressed and stressed out and feeling completely worthless because I feel like no one wants me as an employee. Maybe tomorrow will be better. And I'm hoping that this blogging will help me sort through things and just release everything thats pent up inside.