For Me

Before anyone reads this there is a disclaimer. This letter/ blog I am about to write is for me, my sanity, my own grieving process, and just to get things off my chest.


Dear Grandpa,

On Saturday we will burry you. A man, who was tough as nails, yet always treated his 6 granddaughters like princesses. A man, who was brave enough to quit smoking cold turkey and actually NEVER picked up another cigarette. A man, whom we (my sister and I) describe as a burnt marshmellow: crusty on the outside, but a huge softy on the inside.

I miss you terribly already. Even though this past year you've been sick feels like a dream to me, I know you are gone in my head, but my heart doesn't want to believe it. When you were diagnosed in Feb of this year I knew there was a long and bumpy road ahead of you. But I knew you had the strength to make it through and would probably only struggle with this cancer for a couple of years. But, unfortunetly, I was wrong. As the cancer spread throughout your body, you grew weaker, losing weight everyday, pain increasing everyday, and doctors trying desperately to fix their past mistakes of missing a tumor or two. While I am angry at those doctors for not being thorough, I am glad that they were there to help you during this time. They were able to keep you comfortable in those last days and for that I can't say thank you enough.

I struggle with guilt that I never got to go see you while you were sick so I could show you how much I loved you and that we supported you. I know you understood why I couldn't be there, but I hate that I didn't get to hug you and say I love you one last time. I know that it is probably for the best that I was spared from seeing you in pain and in the hospital or just as frail as everyone tells me you were. But I just want to say I'm sorry I couldn't be there and that I WANTED to be there so bad.

I am glad you feel no pain now and that you are happier where you are. Just know that you were loved by the many people in your life. Know that we all miss your great big bear hugs, your endless teasing and your constant hard exterior even though we all knew the softy you were on the inside. We all miss you, Grandpa. You will never be forgotten and I can't wait for the day that I will see you again to hug you and say I love you.


Rest In Piece Bryce Foster, beloved son, father, brother, grandfather and crusty burnt marshmellow of a man. We love you.

Forever Your Granddaughter,
K