So I read this blog http://flipflopcombatboots.blogspot.com/2010/12/toxic-friends.html from http://flipflopcombatboots.blogspot.com . And it really got me thinking about the people I am "friends" with on Facebook. So I took her very sound advice and Detoxed my Facebook just now and I already feel better. My new philosophy is that if they are true friends and notice that we are no longer friends they will request my friendship again. If these persons don't notice, then maybe they never really cared at all in the first place.
Some of them were easy because they were people that were constantly dramatic and EMO in every status. Others were because they were simply women who had husbands on my hubby's ship. They were wives I had met maybe once or twice and we added each other as friends purely because our hubby's were on the same ship. But I'm sorry, these women never reached out to me to make an actually connection with me. We had no friendship, we had no conversations, we never got together. Many of these women were FRG board members. And to me, if you hold a position in the FRG, isn't it your job to reach out to the spouses to make them feel welcomed, and part of something? Doesn't that kind of CONNECTION infuse unity and support and the spouse wants to go to meetings and events and such? Some may say I never put myself out there to meet these women or leave myself open for the opportunity of a connection with these women. Well what I have to say to you is, I work. And I work hard. I may not work a lot of hours, but my job is very emotionally and physically draining. I work as a Nanny for a family of 4 boys. A 13 year old and a set of 7 year old TRIPLETTS! One of the triplets has Cerebral Palsey. He can't walk which means he can't get around and do a lot of the things a normal 7 year old can; which means I am lifting him up and down stairs, on and off a potty, changing him, bathing him, feeding him, doing HW with him ALL while still attending the 2 other 7 year olds (with HW, playtime, fights, and bathing) and keeping track of a 13 year old to make sure he's ACTUALLY doing HW. I also cook, clean, and do laundry for this family. So at the end of the day I am VERY tired and all I want to do is eat dinner with my hubby (if he's home) and just relax. On the weekends (when some FRG get togethers are scheduled) I have to clean my own house and do all the errands I didn't get a chance to do during the week. Now there's nothing wrong with the FRG women. They're all very nice. But they all tend to be married women, with or without children, who don't have jobs. So they can get together during the week or do their cleaning and errands during the week so that when FRG get togethers are schedule they're able to go. I'm sorry but my schedule just doesn't work with that. So I have opened myself up to them; for the opportunity of some friendships from them. I just have a crazy schedule and it's hard to form friendships when schedules are opposites. So I decided that since none of them reached out to me on Facebook after over a year of being friends with them, I deleted them. Call me harsh or a bitch, but in my last post I said what I've been needing to say to many of my so-called friends:
"I want back the same that I give in a friendship: 100% genuine caring."
That's just the kind of person I am and I'm tired of having low standards and being treated with few and far between hi's and hello's. I am a person. With feelings and a huge heart. I put my whole heart into a friendship and I DESERVE the same back. I understand people are busy. I am too. I get that. But when you have time on your hands and you call me a "friend" even though you haven't spoken to me in weeks, I don't call that a friendship. I DESERVE better than that. So from today on, maybe I will be more picky about who I call a friend and who I don't. Either way, I already feel better about who I have kept as friends because they're not just friends in my eyes; I consider them family.
No comments:
Post a Comment