Catch Up

I'm so sorry I've been away for so long! A lot has happened. After hubby deployed, I started putting a package together immediatly! I also had to include a new camera since his old one really just sucked. But I sent it 10 days ago and he has yet to receive it! I'm pretty bummed about that and so is he since they've hit a port in Europe and all the guys were going out one night or another. I'm currently putting together another package for him. This time a Valentine's Day themed one. I'm also going to include some special goodies for all the guys in the plant with him. Anyways... other exciting/ drama-filled news:
*a friend of mine had her baby boy today and he's completely healthy! yeah!!!
*I backed my boss' car into another car with her children in the car on accident
* one of the boys I nanny had a birthday
*I got a phone call from my love!
*two of the other boys I nanny were in a bus acciddent (they're completely fine, thank goodness!)

I do get emails. Average is like once every other day. Sometimes once a day. But he's only been gone for two weeks so thats not a real good premise for an average!

I do have other exciting news! I may get to go to Europe sometime this summer!!!! My parents are going on a trip and thought it might be a nice birthday present for me to go! My father said the "birthday fairy" and "Santa Claus" may team up and even pay for the plane tickets and hotel! how awesome are the "birthday fairy" and "Santa Claus" for offering this wonderful present?! I'm so excited! I really hope that this really does become my present! I would absoultely LOVE it!!! So I went and applied for a passport, got my pictures taken and everything, picked up a Europe book to look through from AAA, and even have done some research for plane tickets and reviews for hotels in different areas! I am so excited! I'm afraid that if something of this present and plan fall through I will be completely devastated! But i think the "birthday fairy" and "Santa Claus" will come through for me! yeah!!!!!! :D

Via Email?!?!

okay...background info: there's a long-standing joke between hubby and I that he's working on inventing and building a teleportation device/ time machine.

current situation: so I got an email from hubby talking about how he wasn't feeling well with a cold... you know; runny nose, sore throat kinda stuff. Within hours of reading that today, my nose started to feel runny and then stuffy and now I have a sore throat. So now I have emailed him claiming that he has given me a cold via email! None of the boys I work with are sick right now. Hubby (who'se deployed) is the only one! It is the weirdest and funniest thing to me!

Anyways... I'm going to bed now heavily medicated so I can make it through my Friday tomorrow. I'm glad it's Friday tomorrow, but now it's going to be a lot longer since I've started feeling this cold. Hopefully I'll feel better tomorrow because I've got plans and I don't want to postpone them. sorry this is a short one, blog world.

Day 4

ALLLLRRRRIIIIGGGHHHTTTYYY THEN! 4 days down! only a couple more to go! <--- complete sarcasm there. Anyways. This weekend has been decently productive. I went out and ran errands, bought some last minute things I need to send to hubby for this deployment, cleaned my downstairs, done about 6 loads of laundry, organized my downstairs and master bedroom. I also went grocery shopping and actually cooked meals instead of eating random junk from my pantry all weekend. I was lazy this last week with hubby leaving. I didn't go to the gym. The last time I was in the gym was last monday. 7 days ago. Uh-oh. I have my last free personal training session tomorrow. He's gonna kill me with that work out. I'll be honest with him and tell him that it was a really rough week and I didn't get to the gym and maybe, just maybe, he'll take it a little easy on me. I hope. I guess I have my fingers crossed.

In other news.... hubby has emailed twice. I'm pretty excited about that. He's told me that when they do pull into ports at various times, "they" (i'm not really sure who he means by "they") plan to have soccer games which he's completely ecstatic about! He and I previously argued about the fact that he wanted to bring his cleets with him on this deployment. I told him he wasn't going to need them! When they pulled into port I didn't think they'd be playing much soccer, but be sightseeing or going out to eat or something. But not playing soccer. Welp... he is very happy to make me say, via email, that "he was right and I was wrong". Who woulda guessed? Not I for sure. But I'm glad he's excited about it. Hopefully he doesn't have to work too much whenever they pull into a port so he can go play. He really loves soccer.

Anyways, I'm pretty proud so far of all I've accomplished. My week this week is actually pretty packed. I'm looking forward to some things this week and then getting to another weekend to knockout more cleaning and organizing. I'm the kind of persona that can keep things organized if I'm not completely crazy busy. But when I am crazy busy and the organizing gets put on the back burner like it has been these last couple of months, it's the hardest thing to get back into doing. But I'm doing okay with it. Then after that.... I plan on moving some furniture around and up and down stairs and such. My good friend M. came over this past weekend and helped me fix a beam on the outside of my front door that was blown off by the wind. It was very nice of him to help and I paid him in food. He just started school and moved into a new place and with some friends of his. I figured... new place.... probably not a whole lot of food in the house. So I sent him off with 4 grocery bags full of hamburger helpers, mac and cheese, snacks, and such. He's a good guy and said I could call on him if I ever need anything done that requires the help of a man like lifting or drilling or replacing stuff. You know... maintenance kind of stuff. He's a real good guy. I lucky to have him as a friend. Anyways, I have to get up in the morning for work. This 3 day weekend was wonderful, but it's back to the grind tomorrow. Goodnight internet world.

Day 2

So it's Day 2 and I have no motivation what-so-ever to do anything. But I know I really need to do a bunch of things. I keep telling myself that I have all weekend to do it all. And I honestly do. I even have a 3 day weekend to really make sure I get it done. but I am finding myself in need a neat-freak, OCD, organized pro to help me clean and organize my house. Usually once my house is nice and clean and looking organized I can keep it that way. But with hubby preparing for the big D, we have spent every moment possible together and enjoying each others company that we just said screw it to the chores. But I did accomplish a couple things today. I went to Best Buy and got hubby a new camera since his is like a billion years old with only a 4x zoom on it. It's a monsterous things too! I laughed when I saw it. So he took that one and I bought him a new one today with a case and an additional memory card. I also bought use some USB flash drives so we can exchange pictures, word docs, music, etc. I have a pink one that donated money to the Susan G. Komen foundation and he got a plain black one. I also bought some new DVD's, an xbox controller charging station and a microphone for my computer. I plan on signing up for skype tonight or tomorrow. I already know one friend is planning on signing up this weekend and I know my grandma already has skype, so I'm hoping I can convince my siter and parents to sign up too. I mean it's free. All they have to do is get a webcam and microphone set and we can chat whenever we want. I may talk to the in-laws as well. But my webcam will also allow me to record personal messages to hubby that I can send him and he can watch and we can actually hear each other's voices instead of waiting for a phone call that will cost us $1 a minute or more. anyways.... I also went to Bed Bath and Beyond.... probably a bad idea. I spend a good amount of money there in little travel size deoderants, fabreezes, toothpaste, gum, and other random little things that I thought he or others might have forgotten. I also got some goodies like candy and such to send him. I also bought myself a bathtub caddy thing with a place for a book and a wine glass (honestly i was more into the wine glass spot than the book part! lol) and a spa tub pillow thing. I also got a blender so I can make some smoothies and put whey protein in it as part of my new diet. So even though I had no motivation to really get up and go to work and clean my house, I did do some retail therapy which did help. Most of it was for him for a package to send him and I've always loved doing stuff like that for him anyways. So that did make me feel better which is good since last night I bought 6 bottles of wine. Hey! Don't judge! I just really love Mostcato!
On another note, I have found a group of women who are part of a support group through RESOLVE, a national infertility organization. Our little chapter is called Operation: Hope I believe. They hold meetings once a month and have a facebook page and even though I have not been to a meeting yet, I am excited about the next one so I can meet these women that have already shown me immense support via facebook over our infertility issues as well as this deployment. So I am very happy about that. So all in all, even though my general motivation is gone, I am doing pretty decent. Still wishy-washy in terms of songs, and memories, but I know it'll get better. especially now that I have wine to help! lol

And so it begins....

.... the waiting. For the last month to month and a half, hubby and I have been spending as much time together as possible, and with family and then preparing for his deployment. I have never tried to kid myself about this deployment shrugging it off like it was nothing and that I'd never have a bad day. I KNEW this deployment was going to suck. When hubby and I eloped, he left to join the ship on it's deployment less than a week after we married. So for the first 3 months of our marriage we were apart. But we had not lived together as man and wife yet, so it was easy to get through that one, plus I lived in a house filled with crazy people. Now though... Now it's hard. We've lived together, bough a house together, gotten a dog or two together, and enjoyed being married for 3 years now. We know what it's like to have the other come home from work with a smile and a kiss. We know what it's like to buy a house and arrange furniture in it. We know what it's like to fall asleep next to each other in OUR bed. We know what it's like to get up and go to work in the morning knowing that the other will be home that night to provide good conversation and companionship. But all of that gets put on hold. He's deployed. There will be lots of emails, occasional calls, writing of journals, recording of video messages, boxes with goodies sent and even a special nighttime setting on the phone for when that late night call comes in so you don't miss it. Right now, I'm okay. I could be better and the littlest thing will set me off in a crying fit. But I did a majority of my crying yesterday. Hubby had duty so he had to be there yesterday. So in the early morning hours when the sun was not even up, I drove him to the base and tearfully dropped him off. Then proceeded to work all day and then decided (between text messages back and forth between hubby and I) that I would bring him his "last supper" of pizza to the ship so we could spend just a tiny bit more time together. So there I was, 3 pizzas in hand (of course shared with the guys) walking up the steep steps to get on the ship to eat our last supper together. So we sat there, somewhat awkwardly, and ate, made small talk, and finally deciding it was time to go, he walked me back off the ship where we said our final goodbyes. Because I had done most of my crying earlier in the day, I was surprisingly decent during our exchange. Today is a different story. I woke to a phone call from him (tearful, but don't tell him I told you) wanting to say he loved me one more time. I loved that he called and cherished the short moments we had on the phone but that turned the emotional status for the day from okay to wishy-washy. Any little thing can remind me and send me bawling like a baby. A text from my sister saying she was just a phone call away, a song on the radio that reminded me of him or of someone leaving, or a photo, article, or video of the actual ship leaving or wives talking of their SO leaving threw me into a sudden fight over control of my emotions. Through all of it, I know my hubby and I will get through it. I'm not saying we each won't have bad days, thats a guarantee, but the fact that we still go to work and live through them will show how strong we are individually. Hubby and I have great communication and a love like I used to dream about and am now lucky to posses. It's so incredibly strong that I know we will both have the same love when he returns. Love will remain for us both. My sanity, on the other hand, may not. I do not have many girlfriends in the area and the ones I do have are busy women and I never wish to invade or occupy their precious time. I work with children all day and go home to 3 dogs in the evenings. Hubby was my adult conversation and my best friend. Now that he's gone I can only communicate to him through emails or wait until he calls. So I'm sure my sanity will take a beating because now that he's gone I will be yearning for real adult conversations. But keeping busy is an everyday task that requires a lot on my part to plan and such. I have many plans for while he is gone as well as my own goals and mini-projects. I will keep busy so hopefully time will fly. I'm sure it will and I'll be glad when it does. But until then, it's just the beginning. Still raw, painful and often heartbreaking. But in the end, when he's home... none of it will matter. So even though this new beginning may be hard, I'll get through it and look forward to my end reward. My husband back home with me.