The Woman In Me

The Woman In Me - Shania Twain

I'm not always strong
And sometimes I'm even wrong
But I win when I choose
And I can't stand to lose
But I can't always be
The rock that you see
When the nights get too long
And I just can't go on

The woman in me
Needs you to be
The man in my arms
To hold tenderly
Cause I'm a woman in love
And it's you I run to
Yeah the woman in me
Needs the man in you

When the world wants too much
And it feels cold and out of touch
It's a beautiful place
When you kiss my face

The woman in me
Needs you to be
The man in my arms
To hold tenderly
Cause I'm a woman in love
And it's you I run to
Yeah the woman in me
Needs the man in you

Yeah the woman in me
Needs the man in you

I need you baby
Yeah yeah Oh baby...






You know, sometimes as military wives we feel like we are stronger than steel and that we are invincible. Especially when our men are gone. We feel the obligation to be stronger than The Hulk just so that our loved one isn't burdened by our loneliness or our sadness of missing them. But in truth, we all are dying a little inside when we wake up and there isn't an email waiting for us, or when it's two hours past the time he said he'd call. Yes we are going through what most women can't or refuse to deal with. We are extrodinary. But we are HUMAN. We have emotions. We have low points. Sometimes I see posts on FB explaining how a military wife is so strong and how she is coping so well with the seperation, but inside I'm thinking, "Man... is she high or something?". Personally I don't think it's possible to NOT miss them when they're gone. Whether you show that or not is your own opinion. But personally I think we should speak our true feelings about how we cope with the seperation, because once we start lying to ourselves about how well we're doing or how well we're not doing, we start lying to our guys. Yes I understand it is important to not burden our deployed loved ones with guilt that they are gone. Obviously they had no choice in the matter. But don't go on and on about how great you're doing to him while you're dying inside. Sometimes it is good for a couple to be honest with each other about how much you miss them or if you are struggling to get a grip. Often times they'll surprise you and give great advice on how to cope, or admit that they too are struggling. If they say they're struggling too... then you won't feel so alone in loneliness because you know he is going through it too. Obviously, I am not suggesting you go out and write an entire email proclaiming how life is meaningless without him. You could start him to worry about your mental stability. But a small little truth about it will go a long way. That's why I have posted the song The Woman In Me by Shania Twain because it talks about how sometimes you're not always as strong as you want to come off to be. Personally I have had some bad days when my husband is gone and when I go on FB and see all these other wives not even batting an eye that they're gone I feel even worse because I feel like I've failed as a wife. I'm not as strong as the other wives, and then I start to doubt myself that I can even stay married to my sailor. These are all completely honest thoughts I've had. I guess what I'm trying to say is, Military wives out there: don't be afraid to acknowledge that you are struggling with your husband being gone or that you're having a bad day. It just means you're human. And who knows, maybe you'll find out a close friend is also struggling and you can band together to get through. There's no use in not admitting it because it will only get worse or make you feel worse when you see everyone else doing so "well". So here I go:

I am breaking my silence. I have been having a miserable time with this underway. I'm not sure why this underway is having this affect on me, but it is. I am lonely. I am often times depressed. I am frustrated that I see all these other wives doing so well or at least claiming they're so strong through this whole thing. I feel defective because of the previously stated reason. I'm tired of military wives putting on a good face for the world even though inside we're falling apart. I'm tired of the lies. Well it stops right here for me. If I am having a bad day, I'm going to say so. Do no think differently of me because I do, but only that I am human and that I do miss my husband. Yes I realize that tomorrow I will be better, but allow me to go through the stages of getting myself to that point, which starts off with admitting it and accepting it and realizing that it is normal. I do not feel there is any shame in that, so if there are any military wives out there reading this... please be honest. First with yourselves and then with your husband and with the rest of the world. We're not fooling anyone, especially our husbands. They know it's hard on us being so far apart. But if you don't admit it, then no one can help you cope and move on.